Saturday, October 23, 2010

Ulang Tayang

Pukul 3 pagi, Ahad
Angin tengah malam bertiup syahdu
Senyap dan tenang
Membuatkan aku
Bertambah pilu.

Dalam perbualan hari itu
Mengalir air mata membasahi pipi
Sementara
Tusukan kata itu amat dan lebih tajam.
Berbanding pedang.

Setiap kali aku cuba lebih merapatkan lagi hubungan kita
Setiap kali itulah kau akan bersahaja menolaknya
Sakit, sangat sakit
Ibarat menitiskan air limau ke atas luka dalam yang berdarah
Tidak terperi.

Aku tahu
Aku insan hina
Tidak sempurna dari segalanya
Dari pandangan matamu
Dan ianya melemahkan aku
Untuk menatih liku-liku onak kehidupan.

Terimalah aku
Dan aku akan menjadi tempat kau mengadu, meminta
Terimalah aku
Kerana masa kian suntuk
Terimalah aku
Dan ingatilah aku.


--------ToKaN AL-MaNSuR--------

Acception & Rejection

Everynight
I had look up at the sky
Hold my feelings
Eventhough it's star up there
It do not make me feel better.

Acception
Always be a medium that
Leave a deep hurt
During this years
Heal it?
It had be a disease innerself.

Rejection
Always be a topic on my days
That is hard to swallow
And force a tears to fall down
Sometimes turned myself into other
Mad, rude, uneasy
And I used cigarette as a pain reliever.

I thought you care
But not
After all my secret I've told you
I always admit it was not my fault
I like to share secret in my ways.

East coast sunshine waits
I just gone to there
For three years
And no matter what happens
I always be at the other side just to see your shadow.

You know what
I've never mocking you
I've never want you to be bad
I don't want to talk bad about you
You have left so many unseen wounds
That hard, so pain to hold
Becoming scars.

Approaching you
It just like spill oil to the fire
Burning feels in myself
I've hold for a long time
It couldn't put off
And it always burn in a more phetatic ways.

I only have my eyes for you
On the otherside later
I standing
Although it was so long to wait
To see your shadows
I repeat, shadows.

No matter what is your opinion
I'm still look up-high at you
I'm still hold
I'm still want to try
I'm still hurt
I'm still stand-it-ease
I'm still waiting
Your acception.


--------ToKaN AL-MaNSuR--------

Almost

It's almost October now
Almost in the end year 2010
The year that
Hard to feel and walk
Although it were that situation
I just take a hold
And walk towards it.

During all those years
4 months lately
Is the tough experience
That I had too feel it
Alhamdullilah
Faith still and always with me.
A lot of people left me
Ignoring me
Mocking me
Insulting me
Hate me so deep into their heart
And somebody had cursed me
Am I wrong?
If I'm wrong
I'm begging you an apologize.
And lastly I take
A major step in my life
Although it's burden or else
Or I'll get nothing at last
I can accept that
Because I'm nothing, right?
Decided it yourself.


--------ToKaN AL-MaNSuR--------






Three Dots

The three dots
Tells a deep meaning
In maths
In secret writing
Some codes
Or for my way
It was everything.
The three dots
Means okay
Means do not know what to say
Sometimes it express
A deep breath and let it go
Or taking a breath
And hold
Please understand it in litelaric ways.

Stephanie,
Why?
Why you still deny me?
I want you to feel me
Fell what am I facing right now
I still hold it
No matter how you deny me.

Now,
I'd told my secret and problems
Still, you didn't understand
Its easy to say
But how you still didn't understand it?
Come on
Stephanie.


--------ToKaN AL-MaNSuR--------